I came to the realization tonight that I am afraid of death. Not my death, but of those nearest and dearest to me. As Randy was starting his car, ready to drive back down to training in LA, I told him "Please don't die". I truthfully, wholeheartedly meant it and began to cry as I said it. Now before you all think I'm some kind of loon, hear me out. I'm not afraid of my death (except I do have 2 requests: I don't want to feel it and I don't want to be freaked out before it happens *plane crash*) because I know what awaits me. I've "helped" some of my patients die peacefully. Usually, though, when I'm saying good bye to someone who is leaving me or driving off, I am so scared that it will be the last time I see him or her again. I've tried to get past this. I can't live in fear of losing my loved ones. I pray that God takes this fear away from me. Like I said, I'm not afraid to die, and I have it in my heart to care for those who are dying. It's just this sudden death thing I'm not so good at.
Jun. This fear all started with his death.